It's Not Them, It's YOU!
Hello Readers,
Have you been looking for a relationship? Have you been single for a while and can't seem to find a partner? Do you feel like there are no good people to date anymore? Do you consider yourself one of the "good" or "bad" people to date? If you're one of the "good" people but keep attracting the "bad" people, then your life and the universe are trying to tell you something: it's not them, it's YOU.
In today's reading, a love-seeking hopeful reaches out to me for messages from the universe, their life, and the cards about when they're finally going to find love and get into a relationship.
Here begins the reading.
Right now, you’re placing too much time and effort into worrying about being in a relationship. The truth is, you’re so new to relationships that you fear the idea of even being in one because you have no idea what a relationship is or means to you, and you find that very stressful to deal with. There’s a part of you that needs to know what something “is” or what something "should be" in the eyes of another person when you really don't. Your biggest fear is that you'll be walking around and looking like an idiot in dating and relationships, but by looking for someone to define everything with no clear definition of what that is for you, you take the fun out of it and you make it all about them. You want a relationship but you’re scared of experiencing one because you don’t even know what a relationship is or means to you, and because you place so much of what a relationship means to other people, you end up in the position of never getting what you want. And HELLO, that’s exactly what you’ve been experiencing! If you want to move forward into having a good and healthy relationship, then you must let go and be willing to do dating and experience relationships in your own way, even if the other person sees it as the “wrong” way.
Instead of focusing and wondering if you’ll get into a relationship, the cards want you to focus on all your deep-rooted fears, inner pain, secrets, and letting go of worry. You might have been wondering why relationships haven't worked out for you in the past, and it's because you have a lot of baggage that you need to get real about, clear up, and move on from. There is a part of you that feels like you’re not worthy of love, that people will find something in you that is bad, unlovable, unattractive, and because you put so much conscious and subconscious time and energy into those fears, it affects how you present yourself to others with your energy and beliefs about you. This imposes your doubts and beliefs about yourself onto your love interest's perception and experience of you, and they place that energy on the idea of what a relationship could be like with you - and obviously, it’s not desirable. Doubt from you about you does not equal a desirable and secure relationship with you. You must start getting into a place of seeing what’s good about you, acknowledging what you think and feel is bad about you, and this is so you can tell those “bad” things to, "F off." It’s only until you do this that things will change, that you’ll have an energetic shift to your being, and others will feel that coming from and through you.
The cards want to tell you that your past experience of pushing your insecurities and problems to the back of your mind, as a way to not deal with them, is something you can’t do anymore if you want a good and healthy relationship with yourself and eventually others. This is all about your self-worth. You have been working on your anxiety issues and fears about who you are and how other people perceive you for a while, and now is the time to keep working on that. You have a lot of repressed emotion and inner fear, and now is the time to finally let that go. It’s only through releasing your fears that you’ll be able to free yourself and be able to move on to a healthy relationship. You must remember that a healthy relationship doesn’t just happen with the “right” person, it starts and happens with you, so if you have a bad relationship with yourself, then you’ll have a bad relationship with others.
From your past, you have a hard time believing that you can trust others with your heart, feelings and that they can accept you for who you are. But, you’ve worked so hard on yourself, had so many good experiences with people, and that should show you that you can trust others, that you're important, you’re lovable, and that it’s okay to let go of the person you feel you need to be and just be the person you are. You must find a way to, little by little, drop the mask you wear and reveal the person behind it. You don’t always have to feel like you have to experience everything or deal with issues alone. Trust that people are there and want to be there for you because you’ll need that trust if you’re ever going to have a good relationship.
While you do enjoy the company of others, especially at social gatherings, the cards are telling you that you need to spend more time alone and you need to stop drinking. You have an issue with using alcohol to loosen yourself up, and there’s a part of you that feels like that's a good thing to crutch on because you feel like you can be more like yourself, but it’s not true. You have a lot of work to do with getting comfortable and confident with who you are as a person, just as you are, and not under the influence of alcohol. You don’t have a drinking problem, but you do have a problem with not being able to be yourself without it, and this comes up with regards to your past experiences with love interests. How many times has alcohol become a factor in the relationships you’ve tried to have with love interests you’ve wanted? That there is the problem. You need to get clear about who you are with people who are clear about who they are, and it can’t be mixed with alcohol or else you’re going to have another bad experience. The cards want to tell you to pay attention to the people you date and who you want to date because you have a history of attracting people who have secret love interests with other people. While you didn’t know about it at the time, the people you've liked have often referred to someone else in ways that your intuition knew that somehow they were involved emotionally or physically with that person, but you chose to ignore it. Since you have that history, you need to be very careful about the people you attract and are attracted to. Listen carefully to things they say about the people in their life. If they're always talking to you about another person and you feel "off" about it, then you must trust your intuition that they’re not 100% all-in with you, being single, or being open to loving again, so you got to stay away from them! Trust yourself when you think something is wrong and trust your body when it tells you that something feels wrong. This is what you need to cultivate if you want a relationship.
So what's your next step? You are being reminded that you can't rely on others to teach you what you must teach yourself. That means you can’t expect to get into a relationship and have someone tell you, “this is the way things are going to be, this is your role, this is what we do, and this is how we become happy.” You can't keep blindly following others. You must follow your own path and create your own belief system. This means you've got to get real with what you want and don't want, what kind of partner you want to be, what kind of partner you're looking for, what kind of love you want, what kind of affection and understanding you hope to share, what kind of freedom you want to experience, and what specifically you're not going to tolerate or accept in a relationship. This is a lot to figure out, it’s a lot of personal work to do, and if you don’t do it (because you haven’t) then you’re going to keep accepting less than, bad relationships, confusing hookups, the feeling of being used and taken advantage of, and you’re going to keep getting burned in the process. Take your time to figure this out alone instead of trying to figure this out while you’re with someone else, this is because you've been easily confused and swayed in the past to go for and accept things that you truly wouldn't want if you had gotten real and clear with yourself about what you want, and what you feel you deserve.
So here’s what’s up. The cards don’t see you doing the work that they mention. You’re unwilling to take your time and make the effort to focus on all the good you deserve because you’re desperate to get into something new and fast. You don’t want time alone. You want action, adventure, and you’re essentially fearless to get into a relationship because when it comes down to it, you don’t really care if a relationship is good or bad because you just want a “relationship” so you’re going to act impulsively and unrealistic.
You do have a relationship coming up for you and it’s not going to be good. You won’t know that it’s not good because you haven’t done the work to know what a bad or good relationship is to you, so you accept the one that comes and it, unfortunately, brings out the worst in you. There is a lot of manipulation, trickery, and moodiness in this relationship, and overall it’s going to be very triggering for you. You end up having a lot of repressed feelings in the relationship. At times you'll want to see red and boil up with anger and emotions. There is a lot of drama and you almost always feel anxious, depressed, and unpredictable with how to handle yourself in this relationship, and in your life.
You do have an opportunity to change this outcome, and it starts by doing the work needed to get real about who you are, what your fears are, what you want, what you deserve, and what you're not going to accept in a relationship and your life.
Thanks for letting me read the cards for you! I know this isn’t ideal to read, but the cards tell you what you need to hear and not what you want to hear. If you have any questions feel free to ask!
Here ends the reading.
I hope the messages that came through for this person can be applied to you and your life.
The takeaway here is that relationships are hard, and they become a lot harder when you're trying to have one with another person but you neglect and don't appreciate the relationship you have with yourself. I know you probably know that, but do you believe it? People get into bad relationships because they have a bad one with themselves. How do you know if someone is treating you badly if you've never taken the time to treat yourself well? How can you distinguish between love and disrespect if the closest thing you've ever had to love is attention? It takes a very long time to get to know another person, and it's the same for you to get to know yourself! If you're someone who's new to love, relationships, and dating, then bring it into your awareness that you can, and you probably will, become disillusioned with your new relationships and the people you date. So many people get caught up in the courting process of dating that they become willingly blind to things they wouldn't usually tolerate or accept. If this sounds like you or if it scares you to think that you could fall into an unhealthy relationship, do yourself a favour and read this post over again and use the reading as a way to get real about what you want and don't want, what kind of partner you want to be, what kind of partner you're looking for, what kind of love you want, what kind of affection and understanding you expect to share, what kind of freedom you want, and what specifically you're not going to tolerate or accept in a relationship, because if you don't get clear about what you do want, you will become UNCLEAR about what you don't want!
Thank you for checking out my blog. Offering life readings for people during the lockdown of 2020, and now turning them into a business in 2021, has shown me that the way I can be of service to people I don't know is the same way I can be of service to my friends and family. This is how I do my readings for people who are looking for answers, advice, and the truth about themselves and their lives. If you liked this post, there will be more in the future! If you're interested in getting a reading with me, please know that I'm booked up for the next few months, but I will make a post on here or on my social media when I'm free to do more.
If you can do for YOURSELF what you want others to do for YOU, you'll find that a relationship with someone else will be a welcome accompaniment to the established, secure, good and healthy relationship that you already have with yourself.
Yours truly,
-Dylon Reads
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